4 Steps to Dealing with Those Who Hurt You

We have all been hurt by somebody at least once in our lives, and in fact maybe you’re even dealing with a person or a group that has hurt you recently, or you are currently going trough a situation in which a person consistently hurts you.

Whatever your situation may be, when these times of trial and hurt come your way it is important to remember 4 main steps when dealing with them.

I understand that the following steps are extremely hard to do and you will need the grace of God to help you, however we can be thankful that that grace is there and that if we make the choice to attack the situation with the following 4 steps that God will bless us and will bring justice to our situation at hand.


1. Forgive The Offender

Forgiveness according to the Bible is not a suggestion, in fact it is a command that God gives to us. Forgiveness is really the key to releasing yourself from the situation, and keeping yourself from getting caught up in anger/bitterness.

Forgiving somebody can be extremely hard to do especially if the hurt they have put on you is extremely deep, however unforgiveness is truly a bitter poison that will only ever hurt you and eventually destroy your joy and your life.

Forgiveness is needed from the depth of your heart, you need to truly forgive the offender without any strings attached and without any reservation.

Matthew 6:14,15 ” “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”


2. Bless the Offender, Show them the Love of Christ

The Bible tells us not to get even with or to attack the person or people who hurt or offend us in fact we are to love them and bless them.  We can see this in Romans 12:14:

“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse”

Proverbs 25:21,22

“If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink;  For you will heap burning coals on his head, And the Lord will reward you.

We are to go out of our way to continue loving and showing the love of Christ to those who hurt and persecute us.  In doing this we not only bring honor to God who then richly rewards us but we also bring conviction to those who are hurting us and it can work to soften their hardened hearts.

It is also important to remember that hurting people hurt other people.  The individuals or group of individuals who have or are now hurting you have they themselves been victims of deep hurt and they need the love of Christ to show them how they can deal with and stop that deep hurt that they feel.


3. Pray for Those who Hurt You

There are many times that the only person who can truly reach and soften a persons heart, or take off the blinders of the enemy is Jesus.  We need to pray for those who hurt and persecute us so that God can work in the spiritual realm to loose the evil oppression over that individuals life, and so we can honor God by following the commands of His Word.

Matthew 5:43-45

“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy.  But I say, love your enemies!  Pray for those who persecute you!  In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven.

We have to remember that the spiritual realm is more real than this physical realm that we live in, and that what happens in the spiritual realm directly effects the physical realm.  This is why God emphasizes such a deep importance on prayer in the Bible


4. Set up Boundaries

Depending on the situation and if you are under a continual attack or not you may need to set up boundaries for that specific person or group of people.

Boundaries can include things like keeping your distance from that person, getting the law involved for safety, getting away from that person completely or even just allowing yourself near specific people in public settings only.  It all depends on the severity of the situation.


There are always people around you in this world that will inevitably hurt and or offend you  because of where they’re at in life or because of what has happened to them.  The most important thing you can do for the good of yourself and your own spiritual walk is to love them, forgive them and pray for them.

This will not only show honor and obedience to God but it will open the door for God to work on your behalf in the situation and bring justice for you.




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