Marriage is a wonderful and fulfilling event in life where you are joined to the one you love and you begin an incredible life journey together. This journey is full of adventure, and has it’s highs and lows, and certainly its share of troubles and surprises.
The often overlooked or even unrealized fact about marriage however, (and anyone who is married can attest to this) is that as soon as reality sets in and the honeymoon stage is over it takes a lot of effort, compromise and persistence to not only make marriage work but to make it work as well as God intended it to.
Whether you’re newly married or have been married for many years, have a great marriage or a not so good marriage the fact of the matter is that with some work and dedication you can improve your marriage relationship and begin living the happy married life that God intended you to have.
Here are 7 ways that you can improve your marriage starting today:
1. Pray for your Spouse and Relationship
Prayer is an incredibly powerful tool that can be used to make a big difference in your marriage. The Bible tells us in Ephesians 6:12:
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.”
This means that satan is against your union to your spouse, he is against marriage because as a God fearing couple you are a far greater threat to him than if you were alone. It is so important that you pray for your spouse and your marriage relationship on a daily basis.
Praying for your spouse, thanking God for them, and speaking positively in faith over them is the best and only way that you can work to fight against the evil forces driving division, anger, poor attitudes, habits, and other struggles over their lives and your marriage.
2. Pray Together as a Couple
As stated above prayer is incredibly important in your marriage. In fact it is so important that it is literally the key to taking your marriage from where it is now, to where you want it to be.
One of the most powerful ways to help strengthen your marriage and each other is to pray together every day. The Word of God tells us in Matthew 18:20:
“For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
This is a powerful statement, and is why satan would rather try to divide you as a couple. When a couple joins together in Jesus’ name and prays together they are a much greater force against the evil forces in the spiritual realm who are working to create division and strife in the physical realm that we live in here on earth.
3. Spend Quality Media Free Time Together
In order for any relationship to become stronger you need to spend time with the other person. With the world in such a fast paced mode and with technology literally in every direction it is incredibly common for couples to spend very little time together. Often the time spent together is broken up between the text messages, calls, and other distractions of life.
One of the keys to a great marriage is spending quality time together, away from the distractions, away from technology. This quality time is about intimate communication together, forgetting about the world and the stresses it brings and focusing all of your attention and time on your spouse.
Every couple regardless of how busy or hectic your life is needs to have a date night, where all media is shut off, distractions gotten rid of and that entire night is dedicated to just spending quality time with your spouse alone.
4. Look Past the Insignificant Shortcomings
Let’s face it in a marriage you learn very quickly that there are little quirks and habits that your spouse does that can drive you up the wall. I’m not talking about major problems but just those little things that can get you annoyed incredibly quickly.
Just remember that even though it may drive you crazy, that more often than not your spouse is not doing these things as a personal attack but rather a force of habit or because it may mean something to them.
The truth of the matter is that these types of issues are things that can be prayed for and then let go. Marriage is hard enough with the real problems that you face on a daily basis, there is no sense on letting the small insignificant things that your spouse does bring strife and tension to your relationship.
I remember before I was married I was told “Choose your battles wisely.”
Battles always bring casualties to both parties involved. At times you need to stand up and fight but there are many times we just need to look past the small things in love and let it go.
5. Focus on Blessing your Spouse Daily
Unfortunately today many people think very selfishly within a marriage relationship. It’s all about “What’s in it for me?”, “What do I get out of it?, “What they should be doing for me”. This type of thinking will end up bringing your marriage to ruin very quickly.
Marriage is supposed to be about two people living out their life adventure together in unison. There is no room inside of a marriage relationship for selfish ambitions or motives. Instead each and every day you wake up you should be thinking about a way or ways you can bless and encourage your spouse.
If each person did that, can you imagine how much better your marriage relationship would be in a very short time. Every day you would feel like a team, you would feel valued and appreciated in some way.
6. Learn your Spouse’s Love Language
Studies over decades have revealed that people show and feel loved in different ways. These ways have been narrowed down to 5 basic categories called “Love Languages“. If you do not know your spouse’s love language you are missing out on some valuable information that will help you to understand how they best understand and receive love from you.
An example of this would be a person who has a love language of quality time. You may clean the house or buy them nice things which will be appreciated but the true and best way that they feel love from you is through spending quality time with them.
If you would like to find out what your spouse’s love language is there is a survey that your spouse can take that will reveal what their love languages are. You can find this survey here – 5 Love Languages Survey
7. Show and Verbalize Love and Appreciation
There are times in a marriage where you can get to a point where you begin thinking and assuming that your spouse knows they are loved and appreciated. However both husbands and wives need to hear and see that you love them and appreciate them, and what they do for the marriage on a consistent basis.
Showing your love in the bedroom with physical intimacy, taking the initiative to be romantic or simply looking your spouse in the eye and verbally expressing how much you love and appreciate them is a sure way to improve the overall mood and attitude within your marriage.
Your marriage can be a great blessing and an incredible journey, one shared with the love of your life. It takes hard work, dedication and a lot of compromise but in the end when you have a marriage built on prayer, love and God you will have a marriage that will enrich your life and bring encouragement and happiness for the rest of your life.